Starting Again…Again

I’m had a visual epiphany of sorts and now I’m about to restart this piece. We are going all the way back to white canvas, which is fine I guess. Im sort of an expert at starting things over, both personally and professionally.

I definitely pushed this piece too far, too fast mostly because I felt pressed for time. That’s never the move. My work requires time; which is even more frustrating cause I’m an “essential” worker and I’m constantly bombarded by reminders that I am unable to have that time for my artwork. It feels like I’m falling behind.

I’m not religious but I understand that God happens in its own time. That is very comforting for some people…All I can do is keep working and see what happens.

Somewhere in here, There’s room for a quote…(10,000 hours to mastery blah words words)…I’m gonna save that energy for actual painting.

Essential, Apparently

Everyone keeps calling me a hero to make themselves feel better. It turns out that I’m an essential worker… I work in print production as 3rd party vendor for a major grocery chain and I am not receiving any type of hazard pay..

I don’t feel better. I just feel at risk. Like I’m being sacrificed for people in a higher tax bracket. I make just enough money to be over-income for charity and government assistance but not enough to save or invest. Any stimulus money will go toward bills or necessities. I won’t be receiving my merit raise this year. I guess I will try to invest all those hero points. (Not a thing)

People always forget that the hero usually dies in stories. I don’t want to die. I show up everyday regardless. Having a hero is great. Being a hero…not so much. Someone has to do it, I guess. I just wonder when it’s my turn to get saved will anyone show up. Or will I have to save myself? (As per usual)

Cierra Johnson, Artist & Essential Worker